Two journeys, two stories of mothers' love

Two journeys, two stories of mothers' love

Valentine’s Day usually sees women dressing to the nines, making elaborate plans, and spending the day guessing the gifts their partners would be giving them. But then there are women who spend the day of love just like they would any other day—running around in the comfiest clothes, meticulously planning every waking moment, and expressing their love through every love language possible. These women are mothers, ordinary humans with the extraordinary ability to love unconditionally, forsaking the world, forsaking their own selves.

Ann's story: ‘A move toward better opportunities’

It is every parent’s dream to give their child the world. For writer-editor Ann*, the dream was quite literal. Ann grew up in Nigeria, with a desire to travel to different parts of the world. But it was an innocent question from her son that deepened her commitment to giving her children a better and freer life by migrating. 

It was 2018 and the mother of two boys, now aged eight and eleven, returned home to Nigeria from an academic conference in the UK when her son asked, ‘Mummy, can we go to Mexico tomorrow?’ It was a simple question with profound consequences. Ann says, “Right then and there, it occurred to me that children don't understand the challenges of travelling, the challenges of travelling with their skin colour, and the challenges of travelling on a ‘weak passport’, and I told myself that if I ever have the opportunity to give them that privilege, to get a second passport that will make it easy for them to go around the world, at least to make it easier than it was for me, I'll take the chance.”

It was the October 2020 when watching the live stream of #EndSARS protests in Nigeria [protests against the police] propelled Ann into taking action on her plans to relocate.

Ann had made the decision to relocate but the question remained—where to? After careful consideration, Ann finally decided on the UK when she learnt about the Global Talent visa [which enables talented people to live and work in the UK in a variety of fields].

Finally, after thorough planning and a 2-year process, Ann moved to the UK in December 2022.

Migrating to the UK, although immensely exciting, came with its fair share of challenges. From imposter syndrome to adapting to a slightly different parenting method and learning the different train routes, Ann experienced it all. 

But it was all worth it in the end. Talking about how the move impacted her children, Ann says, “My first son, he loves poetry; he performs at open mics here. There are more opportunities for such performances here than back home. So would he have found those things? I don't know, because such opportunities back home are few and far between.”

Rima's story: ‘A move towards safety and freedom’

What would a mother do to keep her children safe? Anything and everything! Rima* dons multiple hats—women’s rights activist, mindfulness teacher, and researcher—but it is the badge of love for her daughters that adorns her story the most.

Rima suffered in an abusive marriage for years but her troubles continued even after her divorce. She says, “There was abuse financially, sexually, you know, societally. And there were lots and lots of various nuances to this, which reached the point where I had to fear for my safety and my daughter's safety as well.”

She was constantly harassed in every way possible and she had no support from either the police or her own family. It was, however, when her ex-husband kidnapped her older daughter, then 18 years old, that Rima realised that she was alone in her quest for her and her daughters’ safety and freedom. 

Rima, who had planned her relocation to the UK before her daughter got kidnapped, found herself in a dilemma. She says, “When we got the visa, I had a certain date that I had to travel by. So I had to do it by then. Which was why the day that we were leaving, even though the three of us were supposed to come, he kept my elder daughter back; I couldn't wait for her. I had to leave. I had to leave. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to get my younger one out as well. So I had to leave by then.”

Though she had moved her younger daughter to a safe place, Rima was still worried about her older daughter back home. Finally, after five long months and two failed attempts, Rima was able to get her older daughter on a plane to the UK, where she and her daughters are now safe and happy. 

Talking about relocating to the UK and how it affected her and her daughters, Rima says, “I think for them it was the best thing, the best thing that happened for me. I had to let go of my life. I had to let go of everything. I knew I had to build it up new, I mean, but I don't regret it. I would do it all over again.”

Eight years after moving to the UK, Rima is definitely filled with optimism when she envisions her daughters’ futures. She says, “They have wonderful friends. They have a very, very good life. They have an excellent future in front of them. And absolutely, they will never, ever go through what I have gone through, never, ever.”

*Name changed as per request
Photos: Edited and cropped versions of photos by William Fortunato (left) and Mikhail Nilov (right)